


Surviving Guilt

by argylemikewheeler



Series: Tumblr Re-posts [5]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 20:27:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18213218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/argylemikewheeler/pseuds/argylemikewheeler
Summary: Prompt: Will reveals to Mike that he blames himself for the soldiers that died in the tunnels, as well as Bob’s death (and make it as angsty as you can)





	Surviving Guilt

For some reason, Will was the only one out of the five of them that could play Galaga well. Mike kept missing the ships entirely, Lucas always was too ambitious, and Max just didn’t like the game enough to try. Will was the only one of them that had the chance of getting on the high-score board. That is, he would be if he could ever pass level five. **  
**

It was always the same; he’d be incredible, beating each level with nonchalance, able to carry on a conversation with Mike in the process. They discussed weekend plans, homework they were doing, science project ideas, anything that crossed their minds. Mike held Will’s quarters and was always ready. He’d be ready to save his best friend and the galaxy at any moment with his handful of stolen quarters. With perfect timing, Lucas would drift away from watching Dustin try to defeat Max at Dig Dug, who was standing beside him laughing, to stand beside Will. Around level four, Dustin and Max would join, huddling around Will as he tried to shoot down the enemy ships.

That day, Mike was pushed to the outside of the huddle by accident, Lucas taking Will’s right side and egging him on.

“Kill them! Come on! Do it! You’re so close! Kill them! Kill them!” He tapped the side of the machine with eager hands. Even with Max in the way, Mike could notice how the sound was making Will wince. His head ducked lower and lower, far too low to see the screen anymore. “Destroy those bastards!”

“Stop!” Will cried, his hands pulling away from the machine like the joystick had burned him. “Stop stop stop!”

“Will?” Mike dropped his quarters, the coins clicking and clattering on the ground. He tried to reach for Will, tried to get a look at his face, but he was already bolting for the door. “Will!”

“What happened?” Lucas asked, looking at each of them. “Was it something I said?”

“I don’t know.” Dustin watched the arcade door slam shut before shrugging. “Should we go and get him?”

“I’ll do it.” Mike said, waving the group back. “I’ll do it.”

Mike pushed past other kids trying to pick their next machine to waste their money on. He nearly shoved a group of awe-struck boys standing in his way to the door all the way to the ground. Mike had the sinking feeling that Will didn’t just stop once he pushed past the glass doors of the arcade; if he kept running, Mike would never be able to catch him. Will was small, but he could outrun every single one of them, on foot or on his bike.

“Will? Will!” Mike called, stepping on the asphalt of the parking lot. “Will, come on, talk to me!” Mike wandered out from the door, cars pulling past him and honking their horns. He waved them off and kept walking, trying to find the fleeting sound of pounding sneakers or the muffled request to go away. “Will!”

Beside Mike, at the far end of the parking lot, where the graying asphalt dissolved into gravel that lined the alley, was a cluster of children, chatting with one another. The attraction in the center of the huddle went ignored, except for when someone pointed to laugh and tease it– like it was a caged animal. By the feet of one of the children, Mike saw a pair of worn sneakers sliding and trying to find traction to take off again, trying to escape the torment around him.

“Will!” Mike yelled, rushing up to the crowd. “Leave him alone! Get away!” The crowd scoffed at Mike but dissipated quickly, leaving them for actual entertainment inside the arcade. Will was sitting with his knees to his chest, still trying to catch the asphalt on his rubber soles to send him off and running again. He didn’t seem to register Mike’s face as he crouched in front of him; he cowered away, burying his face in his hands and screaming. “Will! Will, it’s me. It’s okay.”

“I didn’t want to do it! I didn’t want to do it!” His voice sounded shattered, high and scratched as the words cut through him.

“Will, what are you talking about? What happened?” Mike got to his knees in front of his friend, trying to decide if he should move him somewhere more private, or if touching him would cause him to turn to rubble.

“‘Kill them! Kill them!’  _No no no no no!_ ” Will shouted, shaking his head. “They didn’t deserve it! I didn’t mean to do it! I–I couldn’t stop it!”

“Will, what are you talking about?” Mike asked. He reached forward slowly, only a finger wrapping around Will’s wrist and trying to pull it away from his face. “The game?”

“NO!” Will shouted, his hands dropping as he finally met Mike’s eyes. The wonderfully round eyes Mike couldn’t help but absorb himself with every time they looked his way– and sometimes when they didn’t– seemed to droop with now puffy eyelids, the hazel eyes eager to consume Mike were bloodshot, the color exhausted out of them. “I didn’t want to kill them. I didn’t want to.”

“Will… You’re scaring me.”

“I heard you warning them! I heard it. I heard it  _somewhere_. I was there… Back there somewhere and I heard you. You tried to save them!” The heel of Will’s hands came flying back to his face, hitting his temples with frightening force. “I killed them! I killed them!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Mike cried, grabbing Will’s wrists. “Will, stop! You’re going to hurt yourself!” Will fought against him, screaming in distress into the emptying parking lot; it wasn’t funny to watch anymore.

“Good!” He cried. “Good! I should! I deserve it! I killed them!” With his legs bent up to his chest, Will was able to slam his head against his knees while both arms were being held up by Mike’s unsure hands. “I killed Bob! I killed all those men!”

“Will! Will! Stop, please stop. Will. Please.” Mike dropped Will’s arms in exchange of trying to hold his entire body in his arms. A hand was in Will’s hair, holding his head steady against his shoulder as his other hand tried to find a place along his back to rest. Will kept fighting Mike’s grip, his hands shoving against Mike’s chest and stomach. He wasn’t speaking in any tongue Mike understood, his words turning into long sobs and wounded screams. “Will, it’s okay. It’s okay. You didn’t kill them. That wasn’t you. That wasn’t you!”

“It was! It was!” Will’s hands beat against Mike’s chest evenly. The strength began to drain as Mike began rocking back and forth. He gripped Mike’s shirt tightly and hiccuped into his shoulder. “Bob made Mom so happy… And now he’s gone.”

“I know. I know.” Mike hushed. His hand on Will’s head began to stroke his hair before he even knew it was moving; it seemed to soothe both of them. “But it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.”

“I wish I could bring him back.” Will whimpered. His hand went slack against Mike’s shirt and dropped between them. “I hate hearing her cry at night.”

“Give her time. She’ll be okay.” Mike assured him, still rocking Will in his arms. “You’ll be okay.”

“How do you know?” Will asked, his words soft and barely reaching Mike’s ear. Will’s hands clutched Mike’s back, his weight shifting to rest against him. “How do you know?”

“Because I’ll be here.” Mike said, resting his head against Will’s. “I’m always going to be with you. Always. Best thing I’ve ever done, remember?”

Mike and Will never discussed if he really remembered Mike’s attempt to revive what was left in his friend’s memories, but it didn’t matter. Mike pressed his lips against the top of Will’s head and held him tighter; whether it was going up to a lonely boy on the swings or promising to never leave the side of the boy that had his entire world resting in his hazel eyes, it’d still be the best thing he’d ever done.

**Author's Note:**

> [The Rebloggable Post!](https://argylemikewheeler.tumblr.com/post/167524017625/im-loving-your-prompt-fills-could-you-write)


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